Hello Marcus,
Phew that's quite a bit to answer in one post. Let me try and cover it.
1) ILS approaches. Let me describe the normal method, assuming you have a FMS flight plan with an ILS approach and you've checked the lateral coding to make sure it all works.
You don't need to set anything up specifically for the ILS. Loading the ILS approach should be enough. Make sure the left PFD is navigating with FMS1 and the right side is FMS2. You will have a magenta CDI indication. When you are close to the airport you'll also see blue "ghost" indications on the HSI and blue diamonds in the localiser and glideslope scales on the PFD. Typically when the final approach point is the next waypoint, press the APPR button and this will arm the system for localiser and glideslope capture. You don't need to mess with the altitude knob as long as the aircraft is actually at the ILS platform altitude (you shouldn't need to do this with a 737NG either, but that's another story). When you capture the glideslope, set the altitude for the missed approach altitude.
2) Speeds. Manual control of speeds is normal using the speed knob or manual thrust. If you have VNAV enabled you can resume the VNAV speeds using the PERF page on the FMS, but really that's a bit pointless and it's easier to fly it on the speed knob. You need to know 250 kts, 200 clean, 180 with the first stage of flaps and 160 with gear and the second stage of flaps. Select the final stage of flaps and slow to vref + 5. It's no more complex than that. Even on an Airbus with managed speeds, lots of pilots prefer selected speed modes - LNAV/VNAV and chill is very much a sim-ism and not how aircraft are actually operated.
3) It's just a machine, so isn't very likely to "freak out" as you say ;-) Bearing pointers have no influence on flying the approach, they are for the pilots reference only. I'd suggest reading (1) above carefully, then pick a long ILS approach, and post some screenshots of the aircraft level at the platform prior to intercept, and another couple of pics on the approach. Suggest EDDF 25L via CHA VOR - grab a screenshot flying level at 4000ft between CHA and LEDKI, and another on the ILS at 3000ft, and another at 1500ft - make sure we can see the full PFD clearly.