Something to have a laugh over.

[Goran_M]

Apparently, this is taken from an actual Qantas maintenance sheet.

P is the Pilot reporting the problem and S is "Solutions" marked by the engineers.

 

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. 
S: Left inside main tyre almost replaced. 

P: Test flight OK, auto-land very rough. 
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. 

P: Something loose in cockpit. 
S: Something tightened in cockpit. 

P: Dead bugs on windshield. 
S: Live bugs on back order. 

P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. 
S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground. 

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. 
S: Evidence removed. 

P: DME volume unbelievably loud. 
S: DME volume set to more believable level. 

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. 
S: That's what friction locks are for. 

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. 
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. 

P: Suspect crack in windshield. 
S: Suspect you're right. 

P: Number 3 engine missing. 
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. 

P: Aircraft handles funny. 
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. 

P: Target radar hums. 
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. 

P: Mouse in cockpit. 
S: Cat installed in cockpit. 

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. 
S: Took hammer away from midget.

 

[BWolf7]

LOL!!!

[Peter T.]

Lol!! I can't believe it xD

[Michael_Chang]

i heard the joke before, though apparently it was a FedEx scratch sheet

[pcartier]

That's great LOL

[greggerm]

I've seen it as a US Navy and US Air Force punch list, but it's funny no matter what.

[coltsr2]

Good to see a sense of humour lol!