I'm too excited not to announce this, so here it is:
As of last Thursday, I am a certified flight instructor. After nearly a decade of flying, four years at university, and tons of debt, I have achieved my penultimate goal and I am now certified to train new pilots. The oral exam went great, and the flight was just as great. And completing this certificate satisfied my final university credit. I already have an interview scheduled with my flight school (next Monday), and on top of that, I qualify for the R-ATP, so upon receiving an additional ≈650 hours, I will automatically be hired by Horizon Air as part of a conditional job agreement I entered with them. I'll finally be paying off my student loans, paying back my parents, and earning a living.